The Natural Consumer: Escaping a Single Story: CJ's Hair Journey

Hi Folks!

CJ Here, just wanted to talk with you about my hair story.

Tender-Roni

As a young girl I remember getting my hair pressed at my grandmothers kitchen. The sizzle and pop of the grease and straightening comb became a distant memory when I started getting relaxers. I don't remember when I got the first relaxer. There wasn't a ceremony, or pictures to reflect on. I do however remember that feeling we get when our hair is done. I've always had pretty thick hair. I remember my mother saying that she would like to cut it off. That was when my grandmother took to picking me up and taking me to my Great Aunt's house to get my hair styled. I used to swing my hair when I had a fresh perm. You couldn't tell me anything!

Hair to the back: High School Dayz
As a teenager I lived with my father. For a teenager looking my best was a priority. I would make it a ritual to do my hair, organize my homework, and pack lunch. My hair products consisted of Motions and Mane and Tail products. My father took up the task of giving me perms. He would do my friends perms too! We laugh and reminisce about that to this day!

At some point during high school I grew tired of waiting for my dad to do my hair so I took to doing it myself. In a matter of two school years My shoulder length hair was at my ears and the sides were even shorter. I started using a curling iron, and sizzled my hair off bit by bit honey! I was in high school during the 90's so I started putting my hair in high ponytails with multiple pony tail holders and the occasional french roll. (My best friend called me an old lady, for my long skirts and old fashioned hair) I was and still am an old soul, so those styles worked, plus I was hardly trying to impress anyone at my high school!

The MisEducation of Corrine's Hair: College Dayz
So in college, I had to step up my game. My roommates quickly told me my hairstyles, and some of my clothes were played out. Gone were my days of shopping at Wal-mart (I still did, and still do!) My memory is spotty, in that I don't remember having a hair ritual in college. I do remember getting braids a few times by the lovely Aziza. I mean who didn't get their hair done by her back then. (Mini-Commercial: She is still a bad mama-jamma! Check her out http://aiiznaturals.com/ ) I also traveled a few times to Muncie, In to get my hair laid in an up-do for the occasional college dance.

College Friends and I at a College dance, I'm the 2nd to the right

By my junior, senior, and senior senior year I was still relaxing my hair, but would go to the local hair salon and have the white stylist cut my hair into a bob, and occasionally add layers. I learned really quickly that the average White stylist knows how to cut some hair! Now I know they are wonderful colorist as well. I rocked a bob throughout college, it was my go to style, and to some extent still is.

What I didn't realize at the time, was that I created a single story about what my hair should look like. (For more context about what I mean when I say a "single story" check out the TED Talk video)

The danger of a single story: Chimamanda Adichie on TED.com

To me being pretty meant, straight, long hair, and clear skin, oh and skinny. I'll have to write posts about body image at a later date. But I was completely obsessed with looking pretty, on a budget of course!I deeply longed to be pretty, and skinny, both of which I didn't think I was. This is the same time I opened that Lazarus (now Macy's) charge card. #shakesfist I was trying to keep up with the Jones! #smh. I also had pressure from my sorority to look presentable. One soror told me I needed a Goldn Hot curling iron and #Stat! I went out and got one immediately. I discovered Sally's Beauty Supply for the first time and was amazed. I have to pause and mention that I went to high school in Oxford, oh. Town population of nobody, and I rode my bike everywhere to get around town. So discovering Sally was a big deal. No Seriously, it really was! When we got Wal-Mart, it was party central! My thoughts about myself were very negative. Head to toe, I wanted to improve. I did have my limits though. I've always been a frugal person. I wasn't going to go broke to be cute, but I wanted to be cute. HA!

This Hair Right Thurr: The Grad School Dayz
By the time I was in graduate school, I was so homesick my first year. I even thought about leaving and transferring to another school. But in the summer after my first year, I got involved with the Upward Bound program at Ohio University and my Hair-story was changed forever! In a conversation with other colleagues about hair, and health, I was challenged to go without eating meat and without my beloved relaxer for the summer. I was at a point were I only relaxed my hair ever 4-6 months and I wasn't a big beef or pork eater, so I accepted the challenge! I gradually stopped eating chicken and week my week by hair grew and I continued with life, amazed at how much better I began to feel about myself.

Picture of me right after my big chop in graduate school, and a picture of my mom and I.
I look like her right!

I continued to let my hair grow until one day I said to my self, "Hey cut it off". And that is just what I did! I called my Big Sis and asked her if she would do the honors! I big chopped my hair in 2004! I was natural for about 5 years, wearing braids, pony tails, and a good ole press and curl, but rarely wearing my hair out, or ever really taking care of my own hair.I visited salons often to achieve my pressed hair look and when I wore my hair curly it was in twists or a pulled back ponytail.

Fast forward to 2009. I had just moved back to Ohio after living in Arizona for a year and tried to press my hair. Now there is a major difference in humidity levels in Phoenix, OH and Dayton, OH. I nearly had a breakdown while vacationing in Chicago with friends. I came with a hot press and curl, hair laid down perfectly. By nights end on a summer Chicago night, my edges were popping and my hair was not laid. I literally dipped my hair into the sink and wore it curly! After moving to a new city and having no stylist. I got a relaxer and began wearing my hair straight again.

I AM my Hair

It was more out of convenience, and of course I went back to my bob hairstyle that I love so much! I joke with my husband that he meet me long hair don't care, but married me natural! One day in 2011 I saw a picture of myself that day I dipped my hair into the sink in Chicago. My curly locks just as beautiful! I decided I was going to go through my natural journey again. But it would be different this time. I was actually going to take care of my hair, I was going to pay attention to my hair and embrace the journey. So after prepping my then fiance for months about my upcoming big chop! I did it!

I was a natural bride, with braids. We went on a cruise and I did not want to have to deal with hair. It was the best decision I ever made! Took a month of Sundays to get those bad boys but they turned out great!

My Big Sis, the woman who helped me with my big chop so many years prior asked me to do a feature for her Love Yourself First Feature. I was honored, but I also was able to reflect on my journey!

"My picture represents my transition back to my natural hair. After reverting back to a relaxed hair style, i took a year to grow my hair out, learn how to take care of it, including what products to use, and how my overall health is important. Today I'm rocking a fro, which is something i didn't feel comfortable with a few years ago. I've grown to love me, which started with loving my hair! Going through this.journey helped me realize i can accomplish even more. What I love about what your doing , Ayanna, is your putting emphasis on women loving and taking care of themselves. If my transition story of learning to love everything about myself, even something as simple as my hair, helps one woman, young girl think about how she can grow to love her self and hair, then I'll tell people every day! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share!"

Check out the Collective: www.phoenixrisingcollective.org

Today I'm rocking my natural curls. Trying new styles, doing protective styles and managing my locks and encouraging others to have healthy hair! I've learned a lot throughout my journey and its not over! I have a little girl, and I'm going to be teaching her to love her hair, and herself!